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A Myth.com - investigative report: Jennifer Lopez is not "Real"! "REAL"
- genuine & authentic; not artificial spurious, free of pretense,
falsehood or effectation. Truly so infact or actuallity
-real, American Heritage College dictionary Rock group Van Halen insisted on
large bowls on M&M's, with the brown ones omitted. Many people
think it was the yellow ones, but we who know realize that
the green ones make you horny. Another 70s/80s band, Foreignor
needed a dozen or so blueberry pies for the after-concert pie fight. Johnny Cash always demanded that
an American Flag was in full view for his audience. Micky Dolenz
and Davy Jones, of Monkees' fame, insured that promoters
were contractually obligated to spell the names without a "e"
before the "y" in any press releases or marquees. Mariah Carey wants to drink her champagne from bendy straws and Mick Jagger said he'd take the brown M&M's that David Lee Roth and Van Halen declined. In keeping with the tradition of odd demands for performers, J-Lo, as the not-pretentious Jennifer now likes to be called, wants an all-white dressing room, including curtains, rugs, as well as her make up table. While claiming in her songs to be real,
she has, in fact, raised the bar in Superstar Excess. Like Mariah
Carey, the old bar-raiser, she accepts only Evian bottled water,
but J-Lo leaves Mariah in the dust after that. Britney Spears is apparently more down-to-earth. Ms. Lopez had an unusual pre-nuptial agreement
for Ben Affleck, actor and almost husband number 3. After two failed
marriages, she drew up a list of rules for him, including having
sex four times a week. If Ben was unfaithful she'd get five million
dollars. If he lied, she'd get one million. The amount paid to Chris
Judd, husband # 2, for her infidelity with Ben has not been disclosed. In early 2003, J-Lo and her entourage went shopping at Barney's
in New York when the "still-Jenny" got tired of ogling
fans and asked her personal shopper if they could close the store
so she could shop alone. They had done it for Madonna and Gwyneth
Paltrow, but management said no to her. The salespeople say she
was difficult and demanding. In our view, however, she truly raised the bar on "not being
real" and diva-dom by having her own personal nipple-tweaker
(pictured on the right). Most models and actresses manage this somewhat personal photographic 'must do' themselves, but only the I'm Real, Jenny from the Block, has her own NT, as they are referred to in the Stylist's Union.
"Don't
be fooled by the rocks that I got -Jenny From the Block, by Jennifer Lopez
-I'm Real, by Jennifer Lopez I get chills up and
down my spine -Play, by J-Lo 
WHO NEEDS A TOWEL?! Well, when Ms. J-Lo needs a towel, an assistant is patiently waiting for her IN the water, with open towel in hand! We can only assume that her companion's "towel holder" is to the right of J-Lo's "towel flunky". "I'm portrayed negatively as spoiled and demanding and an obnoxious person. I'm not like that. I'm the opposite. Of course, the people around me try to make things as pleasant as possible for me." -To the London Sun, November, 2001 Seventies supermodel and actress Farrah Fawcett,
star of television's Charlie's Angels, and the biggest selling
poster of all time (left), didn't need a nipple tweaker for this
famous photo. Of course, sometimes the supermodel may get a little "subtle" help from a stylist, or stylist's intern. This is one of the few perks of a low wage internship. |
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In
a world seemingly full of Super-models, Movie Stars and Superstars,
it's always nice to know that deep down, they're no different than
the average Joe. Of course, the beautiful people are entitled to
perks that would seem odd for most of us.
Brooke
Burke each gave our investigator a nasty look that said "NO!",
and stormed away.
