Jennifer Lopez's Nipple Tweaker
A Myth.com - investigative report:
Jennifer Lopez's Nipple Tweaker
Jennifer Lopez is not "Real"!
-real, American Heritage College dictionary
In
a world seemingly full of Super-models, Movie Stars and Superstars, it's
always nice to know that deep down, they're no different than the average
Joe. Of course, the beautiful people are entitled to perks that would
seem odd for most of us.
Rock group Van Halen insisted on large
bowls on M&M's, with the brown ones omitted. Many people think it
was the yellow ones, but we who know realize that the green ones
make you horny. Another 70s/80s band, Foreignor needed a dozen
or so blueberry pies for the after-concert pie fight.
Johnny Cash always demanded that an American
Flag was in full view for his audience. Micky Dolenz and Davy
Jones, of Monkees' fame, insured that promoters were contractually
obligated to spell the names without a "e" before the "y"
in any press releases or marquees.
Mariah Carey wants to drink her champagne
from bendy straws and Mick Jagger said he'd take the brown M&M's
that David Lee Roth and Van Halen declined.
In keeping with the tradition of odd demands for performers,
J-Lo, as the not-pretentious Jennifer now likes to be called, wants an
all-white dressing room, including curtains, rugs, as well as her make
up table.
While claiming in her songs to be real, she has,
in fact, raised the bar in Superstar Excess. Like Mariah Carey, the old
bar-raiser, she accepts only Evian bottled water, but J-Lo leaves Mariah
in the dust after that.
Britney Spears is apparently more down-to-earth.
Ms. Lopez had/has an unusual pre-nuptial agreement
for Ben Affleck, actor and almost husband number 3. After two failed marriages,
she drew up a list of rules for him, including having sex four times a
week. If Ben was unfaithful she'd get five million dollars. If he lied,
she'd get one million. The amount paid to Chris Judd, husband # 2, for
her infidelity with Ben has not been disclosed.
In early 2003, J-Lo and her entourage went shopping
at Barney's in New York when the "still-Jenny" got tired of
ogling fans and asked her personal shopper if they could close the store
so she could shop alone. They had done it for Madonna and Gwyneth Paltrow,
but management said no to her. The salespeople say she was difficult and
demanding.
In our view, however, she truly raised the bar
on "not being real" and diva-dom by having her own personal
nipple-tweaker (pictured on the right).
Most models and actresses manage this somewhat
personal photographic 'must do' themselves, but only the I'm Real,
Jenny from the Block, has her own NT, as they are referred to in the
Stylist's Union
When
asked if they had personal "nipple tweakers", Superstar Lookers
Claudia Schiffer, Nikki Schieler, Jennifer Love Hewitt and Brooke Burke
each gave our investigator a nasty look that said "NO!", and
stormed away.
"Don't
be fooled by the rocks that I got
I'm still, I'm still Jenny from the block
Used to have a little now I have a lot
No matter where I go I know where I came from
(From the Bronx)"
-Jenny From the Block, by Jennifer Lopez
Don't ask me where I've been
Or what I'm gonna do
Just know that I'm here with you
Don't try to understand...
I'm real What you get is what you see...
-I'm Real, by Jennifer Lopez
I get chills up and down my
spine
Whenever I hear that song of mine
When it stops better press rewind
(Play that sh*t again)
Let me hear it one more time....
-Play, by J-Lo
WHO NEEDS A TOWEL?!
Well, when Ms. J-Lo needs a towel, an assistant is patiently waiting for her IN the water, with open towel in hand!
We can only assume that her companion's "towel holder" is to the right of J-Lo's "towel flunky".
"I'm portrayed negatively as spoiled and demanding and an obnoxious person. I'm not like that. I'm the opposite. Of course, the people around me try to make things as pleasant as possible for me."
-To the London Sun, November, 2001
Seventies supermodel and actress Farrah Fawcett, star
of television's Charlie's Angels, and the biggest selling poster of
all time (left), didn't need a nipple tweaker for this famous photo.
Instead, we're told, a spritz of water and a lite, cool breeze did the
trick.
Of course, sometimes the supermodel may get a little "subtle" help from a stylist, or stylist's intern. This is one of the few perks of a low wage internship.
